We Need to Stop Fooling Ourselves

GriffinScat #04-08 1/4/08

What was the last thing you did that you really just didn’t want to do? It may have been getting out of bed this morning, cleaning up some dog scat in your yard or maybe just going to work. Was it a pain? Did you resent having to do it? Do you think tasks like those are inherently enjoyable? I’d like the opportunity to prove to you that not only are they enjoyable, but you’ve already demonstrated more than enough force of will and desire to do everything in life well and enjoy what you do.

We have made a habit of fooling ourselves into thinking that we “must” do things we don’t “want” to do all the time. The reality, however, is much simpler and absolutely liberating. No one ever forces us to do anything we don’t choose to do. I’ll say that again for emphasis – NO ONE ever forces us to perform any action against our will. The concept is illogical. Unless there is some physiological disconnect between the brain and the body, no one can force the body to do things the mind does not tell it to do.

When we do something we think we don’t want to do, what we’re really saying is, “I believe that doing this thing is in my best interest. I wish it weren’t in my best interest to do this, but since it is, I am going to do it.” Well, if it’s in our best interest to do a task or perform some action, then we should recognize that our deep-seated desire is to do that thing. If we desire to do it, then we should do it with all our heart.

We cannot do anything well when we do it with a resentful attitude. When we start a task that we think we’d rather not be doing, we actually demonstrate that we have a very strong desire to accomplish the task because we are struggling against and overcoming the part of our mind that doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. The great irony is that we probably demonstrate as much or more desire in accomplishing something we don’t “want” to do than we show in taking on a task we think we enjoy. When we do what we think we would rather not do, we struggle against our mind to overcome the mental and emotional obstacles we put in our own way.

Why not simply recognize that everything we find ourselves doing is really something we strongly desire to do and engage all our mental and emotional machinery in the same direction? Instead of using our mental energy to construct obstacles in the path of accomplishment, we should use that energy to improve the process to create better and more enjoyable results.

Putting this concept into action and relishing everything that you find on your plate to do could completely change the way you live life, and will certainly put you head and shoulders above those around you who carry their resentment like 500lb. burdens on their backs and minds.

“Fly high & roar loudly”

dirk

Next: A multi-part series on why the U. S. military cannot win the Global War on Terrorism and why understanding that is critical to winning it.

[P. S. If you’ve ever read accounts of our POWs in Vietnam you’ll recognize this concept in action. Those amazing men were wracked with guilt every time they broke under torture – even if they said things that were really of no consequence at all. Through their agony they understood that they had willfully said or done something they regarded as below the standards to which they held themselves. They would have felt no guilt if their wills had been superseded by some external entity that took control of their bodies. Let me hasten to add here that the vast majority of those held by the Vietnamese, men like Jim Stockdale, John McCain, Lance Sijan and others, were and are heroes by any definition of the word. They demonstrated loyalty, dedication and self-sacrifice that were far and above anything that most of us have ever been close to accomplishing. They did not choose their fates, but bore them with valor that reaches anything we have ever read about prior. By the way, if you’ve never heard the name Lance Sijan before, Google him and read his story. You’ll meet a new hero.]

Improvement Requires Change

GriffinScat #03-08 1/3/2008

As it is still early January and thoughts of New Year’s resolutions are still near the top of our minds, I’d like to take a pseudo-scientific detour into the world of improvement. I would venture to guess that none of us think we have become, “the best we can be,” and since you’re reading this blog, you are probably the kind of person who is his/her own worst critic. If so, then you’re in a great place to take the actions required to achieve improvement in any area of your life you think needs it. What a great place to be!

Homeostasis is the condition of equilibrium toward which all matter tends. Eastern philosophy symbolizes this idea through the Yin & Yang that is commonly displayed by martial arts practitioners. Psychologists on television & in glossy magazines talk about the need to achieve balance in our lives for us to feel stable. Well, I’d like to argue that point a bit.

Water, as we all know, seeks its own level – its point of equilibrium, its homeostasis. We can use water as a source of power, but only when it is out of its equilibrium and trying to regain that state. Waterwheels and hydroelectric generators require falling water. A placid lake is worthless for power production. Static water is nice for a while. After a while, though, it loses its oxygen content, becomes stagnant and a breeding ground for disease.

Human beings are not much different. We seek our own balance, what many refer to as our “comfort zone.” However, if we stay in our comfort zone too long, we start to regress. The freshness we once knew becomes old. We dig our ruts so deeply that we start to operate on auto-pilot – not unlike the old-fashioned car ride in an amusement park where the cars run on a track over a guide rail that ensures that the car will stay in a predetermined path whether or not the driver even steers. As humans we naturally gravitate toward comfort and perceived safety rather than toward change. However, like that car running on the programmed path, we’ll never go anywhere new or see any different scenery unless we get disconnected from the rail. We are the only creatures on earth that can deliberately and voluntarily change our habits, actions & ways of thinking. We can even change our environment. No other creatures can come close to doing that!

If we know what we need to improve, we’ve got to take the step of changing our routines, getting out of our well-established ruts, and starting new habits. We’ve got to change what “normal” looks and feels like. But we need to be careful. The new “normal” will soon become routine and habitual, and we’ll have to take the next step toward improvement by once again changing the routine and doing things just a bit better. In essence, we need to keep our ruts very, very shallow. As soon as we feel one getting established, we need to change just enough to get out of it.

So look at the changes you know you need to make with excitement. Here’s your chance to break out of your rut and cause good change to happen. Don’t try to keep resolutions this year. Instead, make the changes that will put you on a better path.

“Fly high & roar loudly”

dirk

Next: Really enjoy what you do!